Remember when you were a teenager and you got that feeling when you first truly fell in love? That feeling that felt like Butterflies were wrecking havoc in your body. You were nervous, unsure about yourself and your thoughts revolved solely around him. The crazy wonderful drunk feelings that you felt in your bones and could let you take flight, these feelings he gave you with just a touch, or a word from his mouth. On the other side of this coin however, lies the feelings being ripped from you, and it actually caused you physical pain that ached in your chest and stomach. You couldn't eat, you lost sleep and you stopped caring about anything, everything. And BAM!, he fixed it, he called, he flipped the coin and you soared from the lowest of low's and you were high again, physically stoned off love.
After I was married and had a few bambino's, it hit me one day, I'm never going to have that again! Call me crazy but it devastated me, I rather enjoyed those feelings. Don't get me wrong I love my husband dearly however, the new and unknown, those extreme intense emotions, that are at a full force velocity, a whirlwind, a new love. We loose it. Time trucks on, day in day out, we slip into contentment and safety.
I'm always trying to recapture that feeling (and stay faithful to my husband, of course). And I found my way, to read................ and If You Stay had my good ole butterflies wrecking havoc, my heart wrenching, aching, shredding into pieces. And then, BAM the coin flips and I'm ecstatically blissful and feeling high on love. Don't judge me, I have accepted I have issues, and I fully embrace all of them, actually, we're friends ;P
If You Stay by Courtney Cole
OK, so I was sipping my wine by the fire and caught a review of this book on Goodreads and thought, huh, looks good, I'll buy it. (keep in mind I am dead in the middle of a book I have been waiting on since October to come out!) Anyway, this is the first book I have purchased by this author so I think, well, let me just read the first page and see if I dig her writing style, see if this will be my next book to read. Are you seriously ready for what the hell happened next? By sentence 1, yes you read that shit right :sentence ONE! I knew I was not going to stop, I couldn't stop if the Mob had me at gun point and was tellin me to "tune a'ound". I slaughtered that book, tore through it, I love Pax, sweet, effed up, tragically scarred Pax. He is an asshole and he'll tell you that while flippin' you the bird. God I loved his sexy swag and his mind process was epic. It's been awhile since I have had so much fun and lmao while roaming in a characters mind. And sweet, sweet Mila. Mila is a soft gentle touch, a fresh breath of air, and at a still calm most of the time, but girl has balls when she needs 'em, lol. I love the chemistry that shoots off the pages between Pax and Mila. I enjoyed this book so much because I felt it, I felt their emotions, I felt their ache, and their love. And I got to catch lighting in a bottle, feel the bolt of first love, while reading it.